Don’t Try to Change Me! (Women Read at Own Risk)

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12). I am proposing a “bucket list” of sorts that we should do in order to gain a heart of wisdom in the face of life’s brevity. The first is to learn to forgive quickly and resolve conflicts with others. The second is to learn to be a grateful person and to be an encourager of others. The third one is to learn that you are never too old to change. One thing that I have noticed about guys in particular is that they are resistant to change. A groom will down the aisle and think to himself, “I hope she never changes,” but she will. A bride will walk down the aisle and she thinks, “I’ll change him,” but she can’t. Peter Sacco writes, “Those old tattered underwear are symbolic of perceptions of relationships for many men. They are satisfied with remaining status quo…most men believe they are fine the way they are and the way they have always been, so why change for anyone including their wives? When wives speak of change or strive for change in a marriage they are usually seeking growth together with their mates. Most men perceive this change as a threat to their manhood and begin seeing their wives as nags. Tell him he needs to eat more vegetables, and as sure as the day is long, he’ll start sneaking pizza.” Before you guys get too comfortable and you ladies (I warned you about reading this) start crying, let me emphasize that I did not say men cannot change, I just said that women cannot make their men change. People only change from the inside out, never from the outside in. God desires to change us to look more like His Son and (if I can speak for myself, and I’m sure my dear wife who is not reading this would agree) there is a lot of work left to do. The difficulties of life, even our regrets, are designed to bring us to repentance and change. Is there an area of your life in which God (and maybe your wife) has been pointing out that needs to change? Why are you resisting it or denying it? What are you afraid of- becoming more like Christ? What selfish thing are you trying to hide or hang onto? Is it something that you’d like to see replicated in your kids? God changes us through repentance. Notice the pattern of the prodigal son’s repentance in Luke 15:17-20: he woke up-came to his senses; he owned up– recognized he sinned against God and father; he got up– went back into the father’s embrace. Just a thought…

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