Good Friday Sorrow…Too Much to Bear

I just experienced a wonderfully profound time of worship and prayer with my Wheaton College graduate community. Our Chapel program presented an interactive time of contemplation on the sufferings of Christ leading up to and including his painful crucifixion. It was held in the Billy Graham Center Museum and featured several venues for such meditation and prayer.

It was utterly beautiful and moving, yet it amazed me how hard it was to grasp such things. The physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual sufferings of Jesus were (and are) simply unfathomable to me. I tried to make myself more sad, but I could not; more horrified, but it didn’t work. I even thought of my own brokenness and pain, but even that had a basement floor I couldn’t dig through to the sufferings of Christ.

I often experience a similar limitation in a powerful moment of worship. It might be an overwhelming sense of God’s glory conveyed through the Word or song, but it passes through so quickly. It seems that I have not been made for too much pain or too much glory. Perhaps it is partly my personality and partly my finite inability to process the numinous, but I expect that to a certain extent you can also identify with this. Why can’t I feel these things more deeply!

However, the thing I do grasp (even though it is just as unfathomable) is the love that God revealed to me in Jesus Christ. It is because my heart responds to such love like dry ground to a spring rain. And there blossoms within me an awe for Him, as well as a desire to be generous and to help alleviate the sufferings of others. The Love of God! How do we articulate it? It is beyond words and can only be received and given out. But one hymn writer did try to describe it like this:

Could we with ink the ocean fill and were the sky of parchment made; Were every stalk on earth a quill and every man a scribe by trade. To write the love of God above would drain the ocean dry; nor could the scroll contain the whole, though stretched from sky to sky. The love of God, how rich and pure; how measureless and strong…

On this Good Friday as you contemplate the sufferings and death of Jesus Christ on behalf of your sin, do not whip yourself with guilt if you do not feel the depth of His pain. It was unfathomable.  Instead, stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene, and wonder how he could love (you), a sinner condemned, unclean. How Marvelous, How Wonderful!

 

 

 

The Illusion of Character

I recently read a quote by British writer and politician Thomas Macauly (1800-1859) who said, “The measure of a man’s character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out.” In Leadership From The Inside Out,  Kevin Cashman provides a helpful distinction between character, the essence of who we are, and persona, the external personality we have created. In fact, the very definition of the word character contains both of these thoughts: 1. the mental and moral qualities of an individual; the essence of a person, 2. the persona, role, part in a play.

Thus when it comes to leadership, we want a person of the first definition. Someone who is guided by authenticity and not one who is playing a role. Abraham Lincoln once said, “Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” My public persona is what I project and what others think of me (my carefully crafted Facebook or Linked-In profile), which may or may not be true, but my character is who I really am.  This is why we stress integrity; a person who is integrated is the same on the inside as on the outside. Who I am in private should be the same person I am in public. To put it in the words of Will Rogers, “Live your life in such a way that when you die they can give your pet parrot to the town gossip.”

And so, as we evaluate people who are leading our churches, corporations, or running for political office, we must discern as well as demand that they do not act one way when the security camera is on and another way when they have moved out of range. Like the minister, who after giving a wonderful children’s sermon en mufti (ordinary clothes) went back stage to change and forgot to turn off his lapel mic. He was heard by the entire congregation saying, “I hate those little brats!” Humorous perhaps, but sad and dangerous at the same time. What if the pastor felt that way about the whole congregation? Could you trust him? What if a political candidate had a public persona that created questions as to what he/she was really like or really believed?

How many stories have we heard (after the fact) about the private lives of pastors and presidents that make us shudder to think we trusted them with our lives and our country? We might dismiss these things as peccadillos or idiosyncrasies, but at the very heart they were character issues brought as baggage into their sacred office.  The leader who leads through character will be characterized by a clear set of values (not the shifting sand of public sentiment), will always speak the truth (not just what people want to hear), will not take short-cuts to get the job done (Henry Ford said, “quality means doing the right thing when no one is looking”), will be consistent (not a flip-flopper), and will be a leader who will regularly take inventory of his motives and actions. Such a leader will engender trust and compassion (not fear and self-interest), and will create an atmosphere of openness and inclusion (not control and exclusion).

In the Old Testament, Boaz, speaking about Ruth, the great-grandmother of King David, said she was a woman of “noble character” (Ruth 3:11). We learn many character lessons from Ruth’s relationship with her mother-in-law. Ruth shows herself to be faithful, kind, merciful, steadfast, industrious, and humble. Ruth for President!

On the other hand, Saul, although he looked like the right choice as a king had some serious character flaws. He had the image but not the substance. He was driven by fear. In one of the first accounts about him “…he did not tell his uncle what Samuel had said about the kingship” and then later “…he has hidden himself among the baggage” (1 Sam. 10:16 and 22). Saul’s failure to address this deep issue of fear continued to show up throughout his royal career, resulting in numerous acts of disobedience, murder, deceit, and pride.

One of the great lessons Jesus taught his followers is that our character is always a matter of the heart. This is why God tells us that we are to guard our hearts, to protect them with the greatest of care. “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” Proverbs 4:23. When I lie, cheat, or steal, it is because these things have bubbled up from the inside. They are what I have fostered and nurtured in my heart. I may choose not to actually commit a wrong, but my external “purity” may only be because the evil in the heart lacks the opportunity to express itself. This is why Jesus told his disciples that adultery was defined by lust in the heart.

Jesus also said it this way, “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean.’ For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander” Matthew 15:18, 19. Jesus nailed the character issue here. Every action can be traced back beneath the surface to the character.

We may fool a lot of people most of the time in the process of getting what we want, but our character will ultimately be revealed. “The sins of some people are conspicuous, going before them to judgment, but the sins of others appear later” 1 Timothy 5:24.

So, what are the things you are nurturing in your heart that you would never want anyone to know about? These are issues of character. They will eventually affect those around you (your family, your congregation, your business) even though you feel you are keeping the lid on.  By the way, what are you looking for in a political candidate? Someone who mirrors your own character flaws and prejudice, or a person of character? Just thought I’d ask…

 

Repent and Sin No More (3)…

Did you know that this phrase is not in the Bible? Jesus told the man healed in John 5 to “Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you,” and he told the woman caught in adultery to “Go and sin no more” (John 8:11). Jesus never told anyone to “repent and sin no more.”

However, Jesus did use the word repent with a far different word in Mark 1:15, “The kingdom of God is near, repent and believe the gospel.” Not just repent, but repent and believe. Both are in the present imperative, active, 2^nd person plural. In other words, it was a command to do these things continuously: “You all out there, continue to repent and continue to believe the gospel!”

Just as we cannot imagine a follower of Jesus without faith, so we should not imagine the same follower without the continuing character of repentance. We should not just call ourselves Believers but also Repenters, for we will not stop repenting until we stop sinning. Unfortunately, this continual character of repentance is sadly lacking in our churches, in our Christian colleges and graduate schools, in our interpersonal relationships and in our marriages, where we readily admit to our brokenness but when it comes to repentance, we act as if other people need to repent, but not us.

I would like to clarify what repentance is because I think many people are often confused as to the meaning of the word. So over the next few blogs let me unpack the biblical concept of repentance by describing it in 3 different ways:

• Repentance is not penance [see blog from two weeks ago]
• Repentance is without regret (remorse) [see last week’s blog]
• Repentance is without excuse

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Repentance is without Excuse

It has been my observation that many people who think they are evidencing true repentance are really not because their penitence is accompanied by self-defense. We can often see this as we work to reconcile marriages or fractured relationships in churches/Christian organizations; even in racial reconciliation; we are sorry for something we have done, but our apology is often muted by some form of justification. I once counseled a man who was broken because his wife had left him. He confessed, “It is all my fault. I have tried to control her with my anger and manipulate her by my silence, and I have failed her as a godly husband.”

I was thrilled by what he said and heard the faint rumblings of a repentant heart coming from a very proud and quirky man. However, he then said, “But I wish she would respect me more and listen to what I tell her to do.” So I smacked him! Just kidding, but I sure felt like it because his repentance turned into excuse-making.

In 1 Samuel 15 we see a very clear example of defensiveness and self-justification hidden behind what looked like repentance. King Saul was commanded by God to wipe out the Amalekites as part of God’s judgment upon the historical wickedness of that people. Instead, Saul disobeyed by sparing the king, some of the best livestock, and the money. Samuel confronted Saul about his disobedience, and Saul started in with his excuse—“It wasn’t really me but my soldiers who took the spoil for themselves and were going to sacrifice the best to the Lord.”

Let’s go back to the guy who had tried to excuse his behavior with his wife in my office. I told him about Saul. I also told him that true repentance would be demonstrated by going to his wife and getting down on his knees, coming clean about his angry manipulative behavior, telling her that he had failed her and God as a husband, and asking her for forgiveness even though he did not deserve it. I told him one more thing; “when you get off your knees, do not expect your wife to suddenly trust you and take you back into her life. You have hurt her deeply and she will be watching you carefully to see if you’ve really changed or whether this is just part of your manipulative bag of tricks.” He never came back to see me, and he never regained his marriage. Repentance without excuse is the life-breath of the Christian. I think it was Gary Thomas in his book Sacred Marriage who said that “couples don’t fall out of love as much as they fall out of repentance.”

Maybe marriage is not the issue for you but where is repentance most needed in your life? Do you find yourself doing penance by trying to do enough good to alleviate your guilt… but you keep sinning? Or perhaps you’re just so filled with remorse over something, but you keep doing it and you are so filled with shame that you; you are closing yourself off from God’s mercy and questioning how He could ever love a scum bag like you. Or perhaps you recognize your own sin in a relational matter, but you honestly believe that someone else’s sin has caused the real problem…so you are waiting for them to admit it and repent before reconciliation can take place.

“The kingdom of God is near. It is imperative that you be repenting and be believing the gospel.” Acknowledge your sin before God; let your sorrow drive you to the cross where God’s mercy and forgiveness flow freely because of what Christ has done for you. Don’t trust your self-fixes; repent and lean into the Holy Spirit so He can purify you mind and change your behavior. And if you fall again tomorrow; do it all again—keep repenting and keep believing the Gospel!

Once again, let me recommend an excellent book on this subject by Richard Owen Roberts, “Repentance: the First Word of the Gospel.” (Crossway Books, 2001)

Repent and Sin No More (2)…

 

Did you know that this phrase is not in the Bible? Jesus told the man healed in John 5 to “Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you,” and he told the woman caught in adultery to “Go and sin no more” (John 8:11). Jesus never told anyone to “repent and sin no more.”

However, Jesus did use the word repent with a far different word in Mark 1:15, “The kingdom of God is near, repent and believe the gospel.” Not just repent, but repent and believe. Both are in the present imperative, active, 2^nd person plural. In other words, it was a command to do these things continuously: “You all out there, continue to repent and continue to believe the gospel!”

Just as we cannot imagine a follower of Jesus without faith, so we should not imagine the same follower without the continuing character of repentance. We should not just call ourselves Believers but also Repenters, for we will not stop repenting until we stop sinning. Unfortunately, this continual character of repentance is sadly lacking in our churches, in our Christian colleges and graduate schools, in our interpersonal relationships and in our marriages, where we readily admit to our brokenness but when it comes to repentance, we act as if other people need to repent, but not us.

I would like to clarify what repentance is because I think many people are often confused as to the meaning of the word. So over the next few blogs let me unpack the biblical concept of repentance by describing it in 3 different ways:

• Repentance is not penance [see last week’s blog]
• Repentance is without regret (remorse)
• Repentance is without excuse

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Second, Repentance Is Without Regret

Good Friday is the proper context for examining another misunderstanding of repentance. The Gospel of Matthew sets in juxtaposition the dastardly deeds of two of Jesus’ intimates. It tells of Peter’s three-time denial of Christ that drove him out to weep bitterly. (Matthew 26:75) It also tells of the betrayal by Judas who actually did penance by his confession, contrition, and making amends by returning the money he received for betraying innocent blood. Then “he departed, and he went and hanged himself.” (Matthew 27:5) So, if you did not know the end of the story, who would you say seemed more repentant?

We often make the mistake of equating repentance with deep sorrow and remorse. While there is a place for sorrow, the danger is that a person may be filled with a self-centered regret, but not be truly repentant. We have examples of those in public office or church ministry who have been “caught” and responded with great sorrow and tears. We ourselves know of the remorse and regret experienced when we see the messes we have made. I have had some friends and parishioners who have been so ashamed that they have taken their own lives. Surely, both Peter and Judas were terribly sorry for what they did. On the surface, Judas looked even more repentant, but was he?

In 2 Corinthians 7, Paul recognized that he had sent a harsh letter to the church which caused them great sorrow. Yet, at the same time, he did not regret it because it produced in them a godly sorrow. “For godly sorrow produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly sorrow produces death.” (v. 10) So what is the difference between worldly sorrow and godly sorrow?

CH Spurgeon’s message (1881) entitled “Sorrow and Sorrow”: Some persons seem to think that mere sorrow of mind in reference to sin is repentance; but it is not. Read the text…”Godly sorrow worketh repentance.” Therefore, it is not itself repentance. It is an agent employed in producing repentance, but it is not itself repentance.

He goes on to give examples of how there are many people who get caught in a sin and are filled with sorrow and despair—not because of their sin, but because they got caught and are in a heap of trouble. In fact, they are probably just as fond of the sin they committed as they ever were. And they quite possibly continue to desire what the world offers, but will wait until the consequences of getting caught blow over. This kind of sorrow is not repentance nor does it lead to repentance.

Spurgeon continued: Next, do not fall into the other mistake, and imagine that there can be such a thing as repentance without sorrow for sin, for there can never be such a thing… [Repentance] is an entire and total change of mind, a turning of the mind right round, so that it hates what once it loved and loves what once it hated… If there is no such sorrow as that in your heart, one of the things necessary to a genuine repentance is absent.

Once again, true sorrow is not a self-centered sorrow which produces regret or remorse because of the painful consequences of sin and which yields the fruit of our  discouragement and despair. Rather, it is a God-centered sorrow that produces in us a heart-felt grief over our sin and always drives us to God and not away from Him. It is always laced with hope and leads us to a decisive about-face in our attitude and behavior; it yields the fruit of righteousness.

These two kinds of sorrows are exemplified, on the one hand, Esau who could not find repentance though he sought it with tears (Heb. 12:17) and, on the other hand, by David who acknowledged his guilt before God and cried, “Against You and You alone have I sinned…” (Ps 51:12).

Thus if you are in despair over your sin, is it driving you away from Christ? Has your penitence turned into penance and you are striving to earn back God’s favor? If so, you are not experiencing godly sorrow nor will you find true repentance. Come back to the cross and believe the gospel. Come clean with the Lord, and lean into the same same unchanging grace and forgiveness that you appropriated when you first believed. Don’t rely on your own fixes, but trust Him by His indwelling Spirit to change your heart and your behavior. Be a Peter and not a Judas; a David, not an Esau.